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Ganso & Lady Luck Save Brazil

July 10, 2011

Paraguay's Valdez: "I bet I can get through them with my eyes closed"

Brazil 2 x 2 Paraguay

Frankly, I’ve had it.

To gather forces and come here in order to report on yet another disappointing performance Brazil put on has become one extremely strenuous task.

The problems are the same. The issues haven’t gone away. The fear remains and the anxiety only builds up.

It’s hysterical.

And yet, it’s not. It’s pathetic, truly.

One of the reasons I call this blog “Futebol Thoughts!” is because I’ve designed it as a space for me to vent and express my feelings and inner conflicts towards football freely. You won’t find your usual “match report” here, with stats and deeply insightful musings on formations and tactics (sure, you may call me lazy).

And so here I am being frank: this Brazilian side doesn’t excite me in the least.

Yea, it’s transition period. Yea, it’s a young squad under the management of a new coach. Yea, it’s still early days. Yea yea…

It doesn’t matter.

I cannot shrug off the sick feeling that I do not feel emotionally connected to the team at all.

Fine, I’ll admit, that probably sounds whiny to the generally sensible North American reader…

But the bottom line is, I do not feel represented by this Brazilian national side. I don’t feel part of it. It’s as though the once beloved golden shirt has become alien to me.

This is an un-Brazilian Brazil.

I’m beginning to not care anymore. And as a Brazilian, that ain’t such a good feeling.

Maybe if we weren’t heading towards something so important (ahem, 2014), I wouldn’t be here exposing my dramatic personality and concerns to you…

Who knows…

But then again, I’m also Canadian. So I’ll cling to the other side of my persona as I try to survive this dire age in Brazilian football.

I suppose I could tell you a bit about what happened in the game – trust me, you should be thankful this is not your regular match report, for you’d be asleep by now.

Here we go (the dread, oh the dread):

Mano Menezes decided to start Jadson in place of Robinho.

(brief pause as you process that one)

Paraguay started the game in great fashion, pressuring Brazil.

Miraculously, after a few minutes running around like cockroaches high on bug spray, Brazil took control of the match and – *gasp* – opened the score with a beautifully placed right-footed cannon from outside of the box on the 38th minute. The author: Jadson.

(brief pause as you process that one)


Jadson was subbed by Elano. Uh?!

Second half kicked off and Brazil were high on bug spray once again.

Paraguay saw the light of opportunity, and they saw that ’twas good. And Roque Santa Cruz rocked the Brazilian net on the 54th minute. Lucio, Thiago, Santos and Alves were nowhere to be seen…

Things got even messier for Brazil, and 10 minutes later Paraguay’s Valdez decided that the chance was too good to be wasted:

2 x 1 Paraguay, and once again the Brazilian defense was nowhere to be seen. Alves was comical.

A truly powerful bug spray, let me tell you…

Luckily, there was one Selecao man who remained rather intact while his teammates struggled: Paulo Ganso.

As desperation had settled, and already into injury time, Ganso managed to find Fred – who had come on in place of the dire, dire Neymar – inside the box. The Fluminense striker then did his job, spinning around his markers like the classic center forward that he is (I’m being nice), and sticking it into the back of the Paraguayan net with ease: 2 x 2.

(and breathe).

And that was it.

A draw. Another one.

*slow clap*

Mano Menezes was lucky to walk away with a draw. What an absolutely embarrassing display of angst from his boys.

No grace, no flow. Mano’s Brazil is one clunky and heavy piece of machinery, missing a few elementary bolts and screws.

Viva Venezuela! Baseball country. Top of the table in Group B!

I’m going to bed.



2 Comments leave one →
  1. BrandonW permalink
    July 10, 2011 9:01 pm

    I expected a win from the begin and like I said last time I can’t believe Jádson had to score the opener It’s all so weird.

    Honestly I hate to say this I don’t see them ending up leaving the pool and if they manage to win the next game they will probably leave afterwards unless a miracle happens.

    I agree with you RB , off with Mano … on with Muricy.

    Keep it up! ciao.

    • BrandonW permalink
      July 10, 2011 9:02 pm

      woops mistype 😛 “like I said last time I can’t believe my eyes this has to be the worst brasil that my eyes have set up on. And ofcourse Jádson had to prove me wrong with his goal… that for doin nothing in the first half.

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